Humility, Love, and Pre-Teens

I am in the thick of teaching my youngest about what it really means to Love sacrificially. A big idea for an eleven year old. But, as I hear about her encounters at school, the societal pressures of a whole student body of pre-teens, and the acceptance rate according to your appearance and your “in” factor– I see a danger zone of misconceptions of what it truly means to Love each other (and Love is the Word of God. True Love is really not about an iota of materialism or fuzzy feelings wrapped up in our own desires).

Our world is so…transactional. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a name brand for acceptance, an opinion for a label, kindness for kindness. I admit, I rely so heavily on reciprocity in the bounds of my relationships, that my feelings get hurt often by the ones I love most. Yet, hurt feelings are usually hurt pride…and if there is one thing I’ve learned over the past two years of diving deeper in my faith, it’s that there really is no room for pride. True Love is grounded in humility.

The sacrifice of Love is true humility. Sacrifice means giving up ourselves for someone else AND their benefit…just as Christ gave Himself for us. If we truly Love, then there is no self-benefit motivating that sacrifice. If we worry about what we get from the sacrifice, then that’s not really a sacrifice, but an inconvenient means to an end.

If I’m not careful, I find myself caught up in leaning more toward my daughter being happy than learning humility. I teach her on Sundays about worshipping the God of the Universe, but then I minimize Him throughout our week, allowing her “typical pre-teen ideas” to guide her in how she views those humans created with as much care as He created her.

God isn’t just filling me and my loved ones, but every single ounce of His creation. All things. Sacrificial Love has nothing to do with my perspective, my mental reasoning, and my position in society. Same for my daughter. Love is about pouring ourselves out for others for THEIR own benefit. Yet, Christ’s grace abounds, bestowing the benefit of filling us with Himself even so. And the only thing my mental knowledge is good for is this: to make me all the more humbled. I hope my daughter learns it quicker than I do!


Published by Angie Dicken

I am an author, mother, and wife. Follow me on Facebook at

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