The landscape is important to my creativity, I have a Landscape Architecture degree, after all.
Road trips inspire—and Iowa never fails to do exactly that. Some call it flat (but they’ve never rode a bike in RAGBRAI), some say it’s too cold (but they’ve never sat with Iowans around a fire pit), and some say there’s nothing to do in Iowa (but they’ve never bundled up to gaze at thousands of bald eagles).Iowa.Land of my stories.Place in my heart.
A long time ago, a friend spoke some truth to me that went dormant in my heart. Lately, it is pressing on me more and more.
She said, “You shouldn’t let your kids offend you.”
This was after I admitted to being personally offended by my school age children’s words.
It’s so hard to not take their words personally now, when they aren’t sassy 10 year olds, but teens and young adults desperately trying to stretch their wings…and sometimes knocking me in the process!
Yet, I think I get too sensitive at times, because I so desperately want to be accepted by my children. They are the most important beings in my life. And, as I prepare them to leave, I am bound by fear of them staying gone. Their reckless words and opinions now, torment my heart and feed my fear. That is the crux of why I act in offense—I am centered in fear of a future outcome. And yet, I become the battling opponent which makes little sense to satiate my fear. Because who wants to return to that?
So…what might happen if, instead, I become the PEACEMAKER in their lives, and let go of my ease of being offended?
Sure, correcting in love, but wearing my armor against their reckless words and behaviors, too, so my words don’t become rash and I don’t run the risk of holding grudges against my own kids!
Maybe the best thing I can model for my growing adults is PEACE in conflict most of all.
I am thankful for the New Year…a new day…and a chance for change. Because if I am the peacemaker in their lives, then one day, they will learn to make peace in their own families, and I can hope that includes me, too.
The treasure of Life?
I think I’ve gotten caught up in the stuff one might consider as “treasure” more than I care to admit. I often find myself searching for the next great Christmas experience–the best place to immerse ourselves in the so-called Christmas spirit. I crave that music, that movie, that red and green decor. I expect it when I go to the mall, a restaurant, and especially, a church.
Has the meaning of Christmas been reduced to a whole bunch of stuff leading up to a quickly told children’s story on Christmas Eve? For me, I am afraid it appears that way some years.
You know that whole milk vs. meat in the Bible? I think our culture expects a reduction of the hard stuff to make it easily accessible to all. But in doing that with our faith stories, we miss the beauty of their depth, and sometimes the whole point of the unbelievable actions of God.
My greatest craving this past year has been authenticity in my belief system. For a while there, the explanations and interpretations just felt…fake. Like lip service. This is why I love reading the Church Fathers (some are the same saints who made the big decision on which letters became the New Testament), because they are beyond our culture and illuminate the wonderous depth of what God reveals. St. John Chrysostom is exceptional at this. This quote is from his Nativity sermon:
“For this He assumed my body, that I may become capable of His Word; taking my flesh, He gives me His spirit; and so He bestowing and I receiving, He prepares for me the treasure of Life…”
Christ the Word came, not for us to read around a Christmas tree, but for us to Live into eternity. The Word is so much more than letters on a page. The Word is Who Saves us for LIFE. May we remember the magnitude of this upcoming Feast day. Merry Christmas just doesn’t sum it up like I might have demanded in the face of Happy Holidays.
“Merry Christmas” is only a greeting. The Word is so much more.
I am sitting from a distance, watching my kids do amazing things.
Maybe it’s amazing to me because I know what they’ve been through, what their struggles were/are, and yet, they have overcome to achieve things I would have never guessed.
As a parent, I can ally and guide, but what lies beyond—that is a mystery. I don’t think I would have it any other way—not knowing—in good and bad. I need to remember that the sweetness is in the journey—and the occasional looking over the shoulder and exclaiming,
“Wow, that went by in a blink.”
I received a sweet note from my literary agent this past week. In a handful of words, I felt seen. I am known. My life as a writer isn’t just this secret hope-to one day, it’s part of me in a permanent way. I might fail and win within this life of crafting words, but I am doing it—I am here, with much overcoming behind me, and the journey continually before me.
It’s good to be known over the stretch of growing time. Even if sometimes as a writer, I look over my shoulder and say,
“Wow. This is taking so long!”
Maybe the ability to look back is why I am in constant wonder as I raise my kids. I see their whole stretch of growing.
And as a writer, it’s good to have colleagues and friends remind me how far I’ve come—how I am growing, even if the journey is a mystery sometimes.
What in the world does this mean?
Is it just a thought-provoking sound byte in my Bible’s commentary on Ephesians 1:4-6?
As I journey toward nativity, I find myself searching for ways to fit Christ in our season. Yesterday was St. Nicholas day, and I will admit, I spent more time focusing on what to put in my kids’ shoes, than contemplating the life of the saint who emanated Christ’s love throughout his lifetime. And yet, last night I was complaining that our Christmas is going to be boring this year—because we don’t have fun plans…you know, that’s what the season is about.
I have often heard it said that a saint never thinks of himself/herself as godly, but repents as if they were the worst sinner. They see Christ so clearly, that their own humanity pales in comparison. St. Nicholas, for one. Timely example for a personal wake up call.
Stepping into Christ’s life is near impossible if I think He “fits” in my sweet nativity set, our gift-giving to our children and fun plans over the holiday.
Christ is the God of the Universe. And He is so much more than a concept to ground tradition to a faithful meaning.
No, the meaning, the Christ, invites me to step into His life by walking with Him, not just displaying his manger in my house and hanging a cross on the tree.
The rest of the commentary in my Bible says:
“What is true of Christ must become true of one who is in Him.”
So, what in the world does this mean? Maybe it can’t be comprehended by the stuff of the world, but by the One who created it. I am thankful my effort to “fit” Him into my stuff and my schedule has failed. It’s by no accident I write this today. A heart-check for sure.
This Christmas, may I choose to get myself into His Life so the stuff pales in comparison—as it should.
The highest obedience?
On this journey toward Nativity, the whole of Christendom takes notice of a young woman’s faith–the first person to carry Christ within her–Mary. When she’s given the news of God’s will, Mary doesn’t understand HOW it could be, but she declares, “Let it be to me according to your word.” Luke 1:38
For a long time, I would brush past the mother of God in my readings, thinking, “God could have chosen anyone”.
Of course. He’s God.
But would anyone respond the way Mary had? The thing we don’t get to see, now centuries later, is the prologue to Mary’s entrance on the page. We only see the few paragraphs. We don’t see God’s hand throughout the life of the woman He chose–the woman who chose to obey. If I can see how God prepared my path to become an author (so very clearly most days), then I am pretty certain that Mary could look back on her life at this moment in Scripture and realize the preparation toward becoming the mother of God.
The commentary in my Bible says this:
“Mary’s faithful response is that of highest obedience to God. The incarnation is not only the work of God, but it involves the free response of mankind in the person of Mary. Whereas Eve once disobeyed, Mary now obeys; whereas Eve closed herself to God, Mary opens to His will.”
I hope to continually recall Mary’s obedience throughout this season, but also, throughout my own spiritual journey. The quote pictured concludes my Bible’s commentary on Mary’s response to God. It was written in the 1000’s, surpasses time and culture, and pretty much sums up Mary’s posture–an example for any believer:
“I am a tablet; let the Writer write whatever He desires on it”.
–Theophylact of Bulgaria
How simple it seems, right? But I know it will take me a lifetime of trying. I am thankful for the examples God gave us, the men and women who walked in the highest obedience to Him.
I haven’t been myself lately. And today, I finally took a step to proactively figure out what’s going on. I am thankful to have a wise counselor in my life.
There are lots of things we discussed, including some pretty straightforward parenting tips. A few tears were shed, and a moment of realizing I was exactly where I needed to be.
Not just for my mental health, but for my spirituality.
I am learning—or relearning—that my mind and spirituality are two different things. If I am struggling with my mental health, that doesn’t mean that I am off with God. Too often, I value what I “think” above everything else. Something I learned today was that depression distorts our thinking. if I relied on God to be present first and foremost in my mind, then how easily He becomes distorted by my own fallible thinking when my health is off. No, God is right within me—in my heart, in my spirituality—and even if my human mind is floundering, God is still with me, and I am okay, I just need some help.
Do you know how enlightening this is to someone who allowed the negative voices in my mind, direct my perceived spiritual wellness in Christ?
If you are in a muddled mental health season (which 88% of us experience it at one time or another), remember, you are not what you think. If what you think degrades who God says you are, degrades God’s fullness at all, then you’ll know what I mean.
If any of this resonates with you, I encourage seeking the help of a wise counselor, spiritual father, or trusted doctor. God made us for community after all—and there are those who are just wiser, equipped by the Great Healer, to help our minds get healthy, Even if our hearts are in the right place.
A childlike faith?
This quote is mentioned in my study Bible when referring to Luke 18:16,17–
“But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”
Imagine a child growing into a man untainted by pride, arrogance, and hatred? There has only been One. And He fulfilled what this faith is supposed to look like from his first infant-breath to His last crucified sigh. Thankfully, that last breath is not the end of the story, but the precursor for Light to fill all.
What does it look like for me? I am far from the heart of a child. But I am fully aware of the examples Christ gives to return to His way. I can rest in repentance, in Hope, in the beauty of Life around me—the witness of God above. I don’t want to focus on the plastic things of Christmas. But the treasures bestowed upon us by a loving God—the light I see in hearts around me, the hope ever present in His Word, and the sacred space He’s drawn me to in worship and adoration.
I hope to step as a child toward Him this season, not as one focused on the stuff, but like the infant who cares only about the parent saying, “come to Me”.
This advent season, I hope to journey toward the Nativity, reviving a heart of childlike faith with each and every thankful breath.
angie dicken